G’day kids…
No didactic teaching points this week: just a story. But first, some
background to understand the story.
There’s a line in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar that became so famous that
it is now cliché:
“Cry
‘havoc,’ and let slip the dogs of war.”
It’s not all that common usage in your generation … ever heard it before?
There are
different interpretations about what it means, but for me, it has always
referred to the time in war when a leader needs to take things to the next
level. Something has happened … some specific tipping point has been reached
(or the enemy has done particularly gross or vulgar things) … and the leader
declares that it’s time to “throw out the rule-book,” “take off the gloves,”
or, “take no prisoners.” It is a declaration that rules of order (even wartime
rules) will no longer constrain him “and that he will intentionally, willfully
allow destructive chaos to reign (cry havoc), and that he will literally
let the beasts (dogs of war) off their leash (let slip) to
do what comes naturally: attacking the enemy with unrestrained viciousness.
Proportional responses are thrown out the window … he wants to inflict as much
damage (and usually pain) as possible. Societal and political rules and
constraints that are in force during times of peace are a hundred miles in the
rear-view mirror.
Last week
I spoke about the civil war inside all of us. Back in 2002, I started to
realize the degree that this civil war had been raging inside of me and I
hadn’t even been aware. This disgusted me, that I could have allowed
inattention to dominate my life … and complacency … and lazy contentment … and
smug self-satisfaction … and dangerous arrogance … and self-sufficiency. I had
allowed my elephant to run wild; he was loose and without restraint. And he had
been running wild and free for so long that my rider had lost all hope of
actually trying to hold the reins because he knew who actually reigned (pun
intended). I was living a very self-limiting, self-defeating and
self-destructive life.
My shame
and embarrassment about this ran very very deep. The strange thing is that it
wasn’t the type of embarrassment or shame that dominated the first 20-25 years
of my life … this one was completely different. I actually cared very little
about what other people thought about me. I was ashamed and embarrassed inside
myself. I don’t recall even being that ashamed before God because I knew that
He knew what was (and had been) going on. It was just in me … I just couldn’t
believe how I could have allowed this to happen while being oblivious to it all
along.
I
remembered back in the late 80s and early 90s reading about how our minds make
significant paradigm shifts: that such shifts are ALWAYS accompanied by a Significant
Emotional Event (the psyche book actually acronymized it as S.E.E.). I’ve read
dozens of books over the last 5-10 years that explain the brain-science on this
phenomenon very well, but the bottom line is the same thing: it takes a
significant emotional event.
Well, my
embarrassment and disgust must have run so deep that it emotionally traumatized
me … so much so that I achieved a moment of clarity about what was necessary. I
needed to declare all-out-war on the elephant … that part of me that Paul (in
Romans 7) described as the “sinful nature,” within him. I knew it was going to
be a bloody fight but I was prepared to take no prisoners. I knew it was going
to get ugly, but I was prepared to fight as dirty, or even dirtier than the
enemy within. In that moment I cried havoc, and let slip the dogs of
war on myself.
That was
the day that, with prayer, my rider began to research, study, and train me on
what I needed to do cooperate with God’s transformational processes in order to
put to death the sinful nature in me. When I began all this in 2002 I believed
that I needed to simply “kill” that thing within me … to kill the elephant. I
now know that the elephant is actually the powerhouse in me and that I don’t
want him dead … I want him trained to serve me rather than remain wild. I will
be weaker without him than with him, but he and the rider need to work
together. I needed to learn the art of elephant training. What you guys know as
The Omega Program (taught 2007 through 2012) was my first effort at creating a
holistic training program for completing the work that God begins in people …
to train their riders how to appreciate and then train their elephants.
2002 was the first time I let slip the dogs of war and my focus was on how I related to other people. The second time I loosed the dogs on me was in 2006 when I needed to take charge of my physical health. I had tremendous success with the first one in 2002 because those changes became permanent in me. The second one was moderately successful but didn't completely last and some old habits returned (poor eating and exercise habits). I guess I didn't totally let the dogs loose the second time; it's more than nine years later now and I'm starting to get that disgusted feeling again. I think I have to let all the dogs loose on the elephant. (shhhhh - don't tell him - if the elephant knows the dogs are coming he'll buck the rider and go wild again).
:-)
I love you both.
Dad
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